Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. Rabindranath Tagore

This memorial was created in loving memory of our son and brother.  May you rest in peace Andrew. Our love for you will live on infinitely:  Your parents and sisters,  Amy & Kaitlyn

 

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Remember me

Remember me when flowers bloom

early in the spring,

Remember me on sunny days

in the fun that summer brings.

Remember me in the fall

as you walk through the leaves of gold,

And in the winter - remember me

In the stories that are told.

But most of all remember

each day - right from the start,

I will be forever near

for I live within your heart.

                                       ~unknown

~~
I feel as if I need to post this where everyone will see it. This precious post came from the wife of Andrew's Heart recipient. We will meet them soon. May God continue to richly bless them. Andrew lives on in many lives and for that, we are so Blessed.

 
 
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes All filled with tears for me;
>
> I wish so much you wouldn't cry
> The way you did today,
> While thinking of the many things,
> We didn't get to say.
>
> I know how much you love me,
> As much as I love you,
> And each time that you think of me,
> I know you'll miss me too;
>
> But when tomorrow starts without me,
> Please try to understand,
> That an angel came and called my name,
> And took me by the hand,
>
> And said my place was ready,
> In heaven far above,
> And that I'd have to leave behind
> All those I dearly love.
>
> But as I turned to walk away,
> A tear fell from my eye,
> For all my life, I'd always thought,
> I didn't want to die.
>
> I had so much to live for,
> So much left yet to do,
> It seemed almost impossible,
> That I was leaving you.
>
> I thought of all the yesterdays,
> The good ones and the bad,
> I thought of all that we shared,
> And all the fun we had.
>
> If I could relive yesterday,
> Just even for a while,
> I'd say good-bye and kiss you
> And maybe see you smile.
>
> But then I fully realized,
> That this could never be,
> For emptiness and memories,
> Would take the place of me.
>
> And when I thought of worldly things,
> I might miss some tomorrow,
> I thought of you, and when I did,
> My heart was filled with sorrow.
>
> But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
> When God looked down and smiled at me,
> From His great golden throne,
>
> He said, "This is eternity,
> And all I've promised you."
> Today your life on earth is past,
> But here life starts anew.
>
> I promise no tomorrow,
> But today will always last,
> And since each day is the same way,
> There's no longing for the past.
>
> So when tomorrow starts without me,
> Don't think we're far apart,
> For every time you think of me,
> I'm right here, in your heart "

 

.

    Four years ago today, God took you home Andrew...and our

lives changed forever. Thank you Edwina, for this lovely graphic.  (July 16th, 2009)

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June 25th, 2009

Another exciting and memorable event has come and gone without you here to share in the joy and create new memories. Knowing that you will never be visible in another picture...that all we have now are the pictures that ended when you left us..those things leave such an empty void within me Andrew.

Kaitlyn graduated from HS on June 12th as an honor graduate. We were all so proud and once again, as the ceremony concluded, I thought about you. I know that it would have meant so much for Kaitlyn to have her "big" brother there to celebrate the day with her, just as Amy wanted you there for her wedding 17 months ago, BUT, God had other plans and who am I to challenge his decisions?

I miss you Andrew..more and more each day. I hope you're happy buddy and will always know how much you are loved and missed. You are my Angel son in Heaven...........

 

 

April 12th, 2009

 

Another Easter has come and you're not here. I know that your new home is beautiful and that you are free of any pain or illness, but it doesn't stop the pain. It does get better at times but at others, without warning, I just feel like a lost soul. Grief is not an emotion that I can describe. It's infinitely here, yet at times, it's almost as if it dimminishes at just the right time!  I will never get over your death buddy, but I have learned to live with this new life, the one where you are no longer here physically but live on eternally within us in a spiritual way.  It is just so hard to realize that all we have now are memories. It is very difficult for me to hear your voice on old family movies. I thought it would ease the pain, but instead, it emphasized what once was and what isn't anymore. I know that we will meet again one day but I also just wasn't ready for you to go. You are loved and missed by so many people Andrew...on this special day, I send you love, hugs and smooches. Always in my heart and eternally a part of my soul...I LOVE YOU BUDDY...HOPE YOU ALWAYS KNOW THAT. 

 

 

 

 

Andrew Gene Collins

January 26th, 1987-July 16th, 2005

 

 

 

 

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Sunday, November 23rd, 2008

I awoke this morning far before dawn; you were on my mind Andrew and I needed this time alone with my thoughts, my memories and the realization that what IS.. won't change. Three years ago, when God called you home, I honestly did not comprehend how emotionally difficult this adjustment would be. Yes, I knew that my heart was broken and that your father and sisters had experienced such a devastating loss ,that I wanted to fix and that I "needed" to fix, but I was too deflated to even help myself.

Buddy, the holidays are so hard. You loved Christmas so much. Even though Amy is married now, and you're living in Heaven, all three stockings hang on our mantel...always have and always will. I can't, nor will I, allow that to change. Too many things are different now; I MUST SAVOR THE THINGS THAT I STILL HAVE CONTROL OVER.

What would life be like had you not made a snap, yet fatal decision on that night in July of 2005? You would be a Sr. in College now. Your baby sister is a Sr. in HS and your older sister has been teaching for four years already. She's been married for almost a year now!  Would you have gone on to play pro baseball? I know in my heart that you had a place there son; you were so talented and I loved watching you play. Now, I don't even watch baseball on TV; you're not here so it no longer matters.

I'll go to the cemetery today because I believe that you woke me up so early for a reason. I don't cry anymore when I'm there. I still gaze at the name on the headstone and wonder why and how this came to be. Will it ever make sense Andrew? Will I ever feel the same again? I am always tense and anxious when Kaitlyn isn't home. She's been driving now for almost two years, but the sound of a siren or a racing ambulance just pierces my heart and soul in a way that I never imagined I could experience. I know it annoys her that I call her cell phone each and everytime, just to hear her voice. But, I will never hear your voice again...it's still so hard...so very, very hard.

Stay handsome and kind as you always were buddy. Welcome all of the new Angels and let them know that you are a friend to all, no bias whatsoever. Above all, send us, your family and friends, signs that you are OK and happy and at peace.

I miss you son; I love you more today than I did when you left us, but not as much as I will tomorrow. Fly high my Angel. Momma Deb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

JANUARY 17TH, 2008

 

To my dear Andrew in Heaven:

 

How can it possibly be that you're never coming back? Why is it that the good apparently DO die young?  What are we to do with these bleeding wounds and empty voids within the hearts of those left behind?  Do you see us buddy? Can you hear our prayers and is it you, is it really you, when I feel this remarkable sense of peace , suddenly, without warning and without a given cause?

 

As you know, your older sister, Amy, married her soul mate on January 5th, 2008.  I have never seen a more beautiful bride, nor have I ever sensed such a mutual love and adoration between Amy and her husband, Michael.  Amy wanted you there, just as we all did.  As I gazed at my two daughters, your sisters, standing before the congregation, I could almost see you, standing tall, erect and handsome with the other groomsmen.  You would have been so proud Andrew; You are so much like Michael in every way.  He is a true outdoorsman, as were you.

 

Anyway, Amy had a boutonniere made especially for you as her honorary groomsman.  We felt you there in spirit but she didn't want to leave you out. I'm not sure where she placed it, but she told me that it was with her as she walked down the isle. (I think she must have placed it in her bouquet!) What a lovely tribute to her brother.  It brings tears to my eyes to know that she simply had to include you son, and she did.

 

I will love you and miss you until the day that we meet again my boy.  Hope you've made lots of friends and above all, you are whole again, just as you were before the accident.

 

My heart and soul sends love, hugs and kisses from all of those left behind..

 

I LOVE YOU ANDREW,

Deb, your other Momma

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 04-21-07

Dear God, Can you hear me Lord? I talk to you often and realize that at times, my anger may prevail. I'm not angry at you Lord; I know now that you needed Andrew and only you would determine when his "layover" in this life would end, moving him towards a beautiful, peaceful and permanent landing in Heaven, by your side.  There was simply no time to prepare Lord, no time to say "I love You"  and no last time to hear him say the same.  Closure is so excrutiating, yet it is such an infinite part of losing a loved one.  I realize that this "loss" is only temporary and one day, we will reunite, but why couldn't we have had just a little more time Lord, to say Good-Bye, I love you, I'll miss you, I'm sorry for any arguments we may have had...and "see ya again one day buddy?" 

Even though a massive head injury robbed Andrew, his family and friends of speaking those words, I pray God, that you will hear my words now.  They are spoken straight from my heart and broken soul.

I'm sorry Lord, that I was so angry when you took Andrew home.  Please forgive me for such selfish  emotions; you are our God almighty and I had no right to question you.  Thank you Lord, for making Andrew whole again, for healing his badly broken leg and giving him that beautiful head of hair back that was hidden under the bandages.  Thank you for protecting him and assuring that he felt no pain.  Our own pain was unbearable but had we seen him in agony, I'm just not sure how any of us would have maintained our sanity.  Thank you Lord, for not leaving him in a vegetative state. I can't imagine anyone who would have been more traumatized by that situation than Andrew himself.  Thank you for giving all of us an opportunity to hold his hand, to gently kiss his cheek and to whisper "I love you."  Did he hear us Lord?  I'll always wonder. Lord, was he afraid when he knew that he was heading towards the other car?  Or did you really take him home that night?  I cannot tolerate the image of him being frightened or wondering if his life on this earth was coming to an abrupt end.

Lord, does Andrew still play baseball?  He loved it with a passion!  Have you witnessed that cocky grin that he always had when he hit the ball with an iron arm, cleared the bases and slid into home base? Have you watched his smile and his big, brown eyes literally light up the stadium when his team wins?  On the other hand, he had a not-so-good look when he lost.   He tried to maintain his sportsmanship but Lord, he took so much pride in baseball; it was tough on him NOT to win.  He was just an overachiever at that game and I loved to watch him play...just loved it! I still have the baseball uniform pants that he wore during his last game...grass and dirt stains still leaving their mark.  I just can't wash them and might never do so.

Has he met new friends Lord?   He literally loved anyone and everyone unless they hurt someone that he cared about. He didn't care where his friends lived, what they drove or what color their skin was.  The tremendous crowd of young people at his funeral was a true tribute to the type of fellow that Andrew was. Lord, I have never witnessed such pain and overwhelming grief in the faces of teenagers.  Lord, help them emotionally and heal their hearts as well.

Thank you Lord for my beautiful daughters, Amy and Kaitlyn,  and Lord, please know that I am blessed to have had an opportunity to have Andrew as my son. I felt an instant bond with him the day that I first met him and held his chubby little hand.  Lord, will you hold his hand for me and tell him that I love him and miss him in a way that I can't even describe, even now, 21 months later?

Lord, as I write this, help me to understand that it was simply Andrew's time to leave us and to serve you.  I slip sometimes Lord, and I don't do so intentionally...it simply happens and my heart breaks all over again.  I need your guidance to see me through and to ease the pain of this void that I feel every day.

But most of all Lord-THANK YOU FOR MY GIFT! Andrew WAS and always WILL remain in my heart, my soul and my memory bank, where no one can take him away from me ever again.

Thanks for listening Lord.  I needed this time with you.

In loving memory of my special son, Andrew.

Deb

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

             Andrew Gene Collins 

    Jan 26th, 1987-July 16th, 2005   

Go Now, my child, your time has come; all tasks today are done.  There are others waiting there for you, and songs yet to be sung.  Go quietly, go softly....leave all the pain and fear behind.  Today has left a part of you in our our hearts, our souls and minds.  I'll remember you my dear one, as I lay down to sleep.  I'll remember that you made me smile, although it makes me weep.  As you go to face your future, as you go to touch the sky, please know that God makes all things possible...ANGELS NEVER DIE!

Go now, my child, your time has come.  All worldly tasks are done.  There are others waiting there for you, and songs yet to be sung.

Author Unknown   

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Letter to my "special son"

 

Dear Andrew,

 

It's been almost 16 months since the day that you moved on to a better world, a new life and one with infinite good health and blessings.  I still have days when I hear your voice or think I see you.  It's so painful because my heart tells me that I should know better, that  it's time to move on and be thankful for my life and my family.  I am Andrew; you know that!  I love your Dad so much and Amy and Katie are my beautiful young ladies. I love them with every ounce of my heart and soul. I pray that I go home to our Lord before they do.  I cannot imagine losing another child; it simply isn't something that I can even begin to think about.   It's been hard on each of us Andrew, but somehow, I need more comfort, an open ear, someone who is willing to listen without judging and just let me be angry or sad or even mad...whatever I happen to feel that day! The lord listens and I feel his presence when I begin to slide in the wrong direction.  Being angry shouldn't be an option; look where you ARE Andrew.  Isn't it selfish of me to ever even feel the least bit mad or angry @ our loss when in actuality, it was YOUR gain?  That part of this puzzle is still new to me, but I know that you wouldn't want any of your family or friends to be upset.  If ever a person existed who couldn't handle seeing someone he cared about upset, it was you!  That tender shoulder to lean on, those big brown eyes that always said "I care" or "I understand" and the way you always made people laugh...that's the way I think of you, as I'm sure your friends do as well. 

 

Amy and Kaitlyn speak of you often; it's almost as if you're still here.  They want to keep your memory alive but can't handle my emotional pit stops!  Do you understand that Andrew, do you know what it feels like to have a huge empty spot in your heart? I hope that you knew that we were all there for you in the hospital.  I'm not sure if you heard our words or felt the touch of so many that love you, but I want to believe that you did.  (If not there, in the intensive care unit; perhaps from Heaven!)

 

Shine down on us our baseball Angel.  We'll see you again one day!

 

I LOVE YOU BUDDY!

Deb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Poetry Corner

to my special bonus boy:

 

   

                  God's Lent Child

 

              I'll lend you for a while,

             a child of mine God said.

         For you to love the while he lives,

           and mourn for when he's dead.

 

              It may be 6 or 7 years,

                        or 42 or 3.

             But will you till I call him back,

                 take care of him for me?

 

            He'll bring his joys to gladden you,

                 and should his stay be brief,

               You'll always have his memories

                       as solace in your grief.

 

               I cannot promise he will stay,

                since all from earth return.

            But, there are lessons taught below,

                    I want this child to learn.

 

            I have looked the whole world over,

               in my search for teachers true,

         and from the folk that crowd life's lanes,

                          I have chosen you.

 

               Now, will you give him all your love,

                      and not think the labor vain,

                  nor hate me when I come to take,

                       this lent child home again?

 

                  I fancy that I've heard them say,

                     Dear God, thy will be done,

                 for all the joys this child shall bring,

                     the risk of grief we'll gladly run.

 

                    We'll shelter him with tenderness,

                         we'll hug him whilst we may.

              And for all the happiness we've ever known,

                              we'll ever grateful stay.

                    And should the angels call him back,

                      much sooner than we've planned,

                    we'll brave the bitter grief that comes,

                              and try and understand.

                                    Author Unkown

 

 

 

 

 

 

                  "He Only Took My Hand"

 

           Last night while I was trying to sleep 

                    My son's voice I did hear.  

          I opened my eyes and looked around.

                    but he did not appear.....

 

              He said, "Deb,you've got to listen,  

                  You've got to understand;   

                God didn't take me from you all,

                        He only took my hand.    

  

                When I called out in pain that night,

                          The instant that I died,

               He reached down and took my hand,

                      and pulled me to His side.

 

                   He pulled me up and saved me,

                       From the misery and pain.

                      My body was hurt so badly.

                      I could never be the same.

 

                     My search is really over now,

                      I've found happiness within.

               All the answers to my empty dreams,

                     And all that might have been.

 

                    I love you all and miss you so,

                        And I'll always be nearby.

                          My body's gone forever,

                      But my spirit will never die!

 

                    And, so you must all go on now,

              live one day at a time, just understand!

                     God didn't take me from you,

                         He only took my hand."

                             Author Unknown

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            LETTER FROM HEAVEN

 

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say

   But first of all, I want you to know that I arrived OK.

I'm writing this letter from Heaven;here I dwell with God above,

Here, there are no more tears of sadness-there is just eternal love.

 

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.

Remember that I am with you every morning noon and night.

That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through;

God picked me and hugged me and he said, "I welcome you!"

 

"It's good to have you here again; your were missed while you were gone;

 

As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.

I need you here so badly; you are part of my great plan,

There's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man."

 

God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do,

And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.,

God and I are close to you in the middle of the night.

 

When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years,

Because you are only human, they're bound to bring some tears.

But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain,

Remember there would be no flowers if we didn't have the rain.

 

I wish that I could tell you, all that God has planned

If I were to tell you; you wouldn't understand.

But for one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over,

I'm closer to yu now that I ever was before.

 

There are many rocky roads ahead and many hills to climb,

But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

When you're walking down the street and you've  got me on your mind,

I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind..

And when it's time for you to go...from that body to be free.

Remember...you're not GOING; You're just COMING home to me!

                       Copyright-Ruth Ann Mahffey

 

 

 

 

Our loving son, brother, grandson, nephew and a friend to all who knew him.......we love you buddy; RIP until we meet again!

 

     Andrew Gene Collins

                                        

   January 26th, 1987-July 16th, 2005

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Was Sitting Here In Heaven
And Having A Wonderful Day.
I Started Thinking About You
And All The Things I Didn’t Get A Chance To Say.
I Don’t Want You To Worry About Me
And Please Don’t Shed Any Tears,
Because I Will Wait For You In Heaven,
If It Takes A Hundred Years.
Everything I Had On Earth
I Have In Heaven Too!
My First Day Here
My Body Became Brand New.
It Is Really Pretty Here
And I Love My New Home,
Although Your Heart Is Broken
Because My Body Is Gone.
My Love Will Always Be There
As You Go Along The Way,
Just Take A Peek Inside Your Heart
There Is Where I’ll Stay.
Know That I Loved My Family
And All My Friends Too,
My Thoughts Will Be With Each Of You
Your Whole Life Through.

 In Loving Memory Of: Andrew Gene Collins
Who Went Home To Be With The Lord - July 16th, 2005

 

I Was Sitting Here In Heaven
And Having A Wonderful Day.
I Started Thinking About You
And All The Things I Didn’t Get A Chance To Say.
I Don’t Want You To Worry About Me
And Please Don’t Shed Any Tears,
Because I Will Wait For You In Heaven,
If It Takes A Hundred Years.
Everything I Had On Earth
I Have In Heaven Too!
My First Day Here
My Body Became Brand New.
It Is Really Pretty Here
And I Love My New Home,
Although Your Heart Is Broken
Because My Body Is Gone.
My Love Will Always Be There
As You Go Along The Way,
Just Take A Peek Inside Your Heart
There Is Where I’ll Stay.
Know That I Loved My Family
And All My Friends Too,
My Thoughts Will Be With Each Of You
Your Whole Life Through.

 In Loving Memory Of: Andrew Gene Collins
Who Went Home To Be With The Lord - July 16th, 2005